Judge blocks President Obama's Moratorium on Elephant Ears

In a victory for elephant ear proponents, a federal judge struck down President Obama's six-month moratorium on elephant ears.

The White House has promised an appeal.  The President has also mentioned his plan to appoint an Elephant Ear Czar to nationalize the creation of elephant ears across the country.

The Interior Department originally halted new permits for elephant ear stands at state fairs across the country, on the grounds that they are breaking the backs of the people on main street by selling expensive, sweet treats for higher profit margins than even wall street or oil companies can make.

"We must stop these evil people from profiting at higher margins than everyone else," said the President.  "Profits lead to the economy moving, that leads to higher taxes paid as the economy picks up and that leads to the Dark Side of the free market working!  We cannot allow a free market to prosper!"

Henry Stoops, recently back from the Marshfield Fair had this to say:

"A Sausage sandwich w/ peppers and onions cost four dollars, while a piece of fried dough costs $5.  FIVE dollars!!! For a quarter's worth of dough that's been fried in a nickel's worth of hot oil, then drizzled with a dime's worth of butter and sprinkled with 3 pennies worth of powdered sugar and cinnamon.  The president has to do something about this!"

Said liberal Sue Wells, "Oh my God!  These people are making money and they like it!  They must be evil Tea Party people or Republicans!"

A rally is being planned to protest the elephant ear stand across the nation during the state fairs that run during the summer.

Said Republican Senator Mitch McConnell, "God dammit, they better not take away elephant ears!  I love to have that fried dough at our fine Kentucky State Fair."

The leading opponent of the elephant ears, Nancy Pelosi, chimed in:

"Some things we can do on the side which may not fit into a bigger plan. That doesn't mean that is a substitute for doing comprehensive elephant ear reform. It means we will move on many fronts, any front we can...We will block the gate. If the gate is open, we will put up a fence. If the fence is climbed, we will put an invisible force field around it. If that doesn't work, we will use a Jedi mind trick and tell them this is not the elephant ear they are looking for. But we are going to get elephant ear reform passed."

Elephant Butt

Three years ago, on a Friday, I was talking with one of the ladies downstairs before leaving and she mentioned they were going to the Delaware fair that night. I made the greatest error in judgment of my life saying something that I thought was humorous and clearly was not shared by my friend.

She had been telling me they were so busy that they missed the Ohio State Fair a month earlier, but she was excited to go to the Delaware County fair as an alternative. "We didn't get our elephant ears this summer." She used a voice saying this that was almost child like and funny which I think led to the next comment.

"Looks like you got your elephant butt."

Let's examine the options I could have made.

Elephant tusks? Doesn't make sense.
Elephant trunk? Nope.
Elephant legs? It just did not spring to mind and seems worse even now in my humble opinion.

So, "Elephant Butt," it was.

Yes. it was funny for the microsecond as she was bent over (facing me) until she whipped up and had daggers in her eyes and a look of surprise that I would EVER dare make that crack (pun intended.). Seriously, I didn't even think. It flew out of my mouth without thought. I swear, the look on her face... I was in big trouble.

I had known her for a couple years to that point and I had a sudden realization that there are some things I should NEVER joke about.

Even though she does not have an elephant butt. She had a baby a year earlier and joined a "Biggest Loser" contest at work and she lost 42 pounds! She looked great and was lighter than before she even got pregnant, but it still didn't allow me to get away with what was meant as a harmless comment on my part.

That said, the joke made it way through the department and others in the company. They saw why I made the connection from elephant ears to elephant butt. They thought it was funny in the sense that I actually blurted it out, like a complete idiot, however, every woman who heard it has told me never to make a joke about a woman's butt.

It was not about her butt! It was about the elephant ear! :)

By Monday, she was joking about it and would tease me for a couple years before she left the company.

And I will never, never, never joke about that in the future.