My Brutus Buckeye Story

Long before I attended Ohio State to earn an MBA, I often mocked the fans for their devotion of football, the Neutron Man, "Script Ohio," and Brutus Buckeye. I attended my first Buckeye basketball game in 2006, the season the Buckeyes made an incredible run to the NCAA finals.

I was given free tickets to the OSU basketball game against Kent State, so Danielle (we broke up in July 2007) and I went. Parking was $7.00 and the guy did not appreciate my using the $1.00 coins the USPS gave me as change.

"You don't have anything else?" "Nope," I lied. He had already given me attitude because I asked why parking is free for concerts (2 Springsteen shows attended,) but not free for a basketball game. "This is my first night working," he said. So for the record, he started the lying.

Our seats were in Section 203, Row A. About 4 1/2 feet below us was the aisle where people and security could walk around the arena and there was access to the handicap seating.

With about 10 minutes left in the 2nd half, I noticed a couple cheerleaders suddenly below us and a guy with a microphone. The guy had used the microphone earlier in the game for announcements during timeouts. Then I saw Brutus.

He is perhaps the ugliest mascot in the world out side of my undergrad's mascot, Rudy Flyer. Dan Patrick, a UD alum, once had to defend Rudy against another analyst because that guy commented Rudy's head looked like a giant potato. Rudy is a seriously ugly mascot. I'll give Brutus the second ugliest award though.

Brutus came bopping over after giving high fives to a lot of children in the section across from us and perched his Charlie Brown sized head right in front of us, facing the court.

"Brutus!!!" I heard someone behind me shout. Remember how he is four plus feet below me? He turned around and stuck his hand up to wave and it was face level for Danielle and I, so I gave him a high five. No big deal although for some reason, thousands of Buckeye fans are probably jealous because I am one of only a few hundred thousand to have done so over the years.

I actually received an envious email from Scott Herd about my giving Brutus a high five because he had never had the opportunity to do so.

As I turned to my right and say something to Danielle, I saw between her and I the hand of the 50+ year old guy behind me and I then noticed Brutus turned around.

I STOLE THIS GUY'S HIGH FIVE!!!

Not a big I would think, but this is a member of the Buckeye Nation. He had probably been waiting his whole life to finally give a high five to this mascot as a life long Buckeye fan and I snatched his dream and tore his heart out with one simple motion because Brutus was now facing away from him and his hand was left hanging in the air unslapped. The problem for Brutus is the big giant head does not move so he can't look up and see that someone unworthy as myself snatched the ceremonial hand slap. He simply waited for anyone to slap his hand and then turned around once he felt it.

Having dashed the dream of this Buckeye fan behind me actually made me feel all sorts or guilty. He would go home and cry to his wife in their trailer how some jerk stole his one shining moment (not counting the three marriages that were probably the previous shining moments up to that point) and live his life in a depressed state until he finally whithered away by refusing even to eat pork rinds.

A few moments, when microphone guy finished up, I called out to Brutus name and asked him to give the gentleman behind me a high five (my Catholic guilt getting to me,) so Brutus obliged.

The 50+ something guy thanked me. LOL. And people think I need to get a life.

OSU won BTW.

Tomorrow night I am stealing candy from trick or treaters.