The Marysville Post Office

(From November 11th, 2007)

I was in the Marysville post office on Saturday morning. I was in line wanting to ask the person if their flat rate boxes came in a different dimension because I had a package that was too large for the standard flatter box when the lady at the service desk asked a related question. As I happened to be standing next to the display and I was holding a box. I suddenly became the focus of all attention in the office lobby as the following conversation took place.

I really hate being that center of attention like that and would do anything not to draw attention to myself, but I also have a habit of trying to say something amusing without knowing my target audience.

The lady asked the postal worker, "So how much can I put in the box and still send it at the flat rate?"

The postal worker replied, "As much as you can stuff in the box as long as it's under 70 pounds."

At this point I wondered what would weigh 70 pounds to fit in a box that is approximately 3 inches x 11 inches x 13 inches. Gold bricks came to mind. Uranium is pretty heavy as well. I had a Scrubs moment as I envisioned telling the postal worker 'yes' when asking if anything in the package was hazardous, liquid or fragile. "Yes, I am mailing uranium."

The conversation continued....

"So there's no limit as long as I can fit it in the box?"

"Pretty much anything short of using duct tape."

And this is where I need to learn not to pipe in when all eyes were just on me.

I turned to the lady next to me; she was in her 50s. "But what if I wanted to send duct tape in the box?" I said it in a manner I thought she would realize I was making a joke.

She looked at me and said, "I think she means sealing it on the outside of the box with duct tape." She thought she was helping me.

I responded, "Oh," and tried hard not to laugh. I really thought it was clear I was joking and I did not want this person to think I was trying to make her look stupid.

A couple folks around us started laughing, I think realizing I meant it as a joke, and laughing at her reaction or that my attempt at humor backfired. Or maybe they thought I didn't realize what the postal worker meant and they were laughing at me. They are a difficult people to read, these Marysville folks.