Monday, December 26, 2011

'Round and 'Round the Mulberry Bush ...

All around the mulberry bush
The monkey chased the weasel;
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun,
Pop! goes the weasel.

Prologue #1

When I was a kid, I had a creepy little metal jack in the box. The "Jack" was a clownish looking court jester that popped out. I remember it was fairly creepy looking and I remember I could turn the arm to stop one note short so all it took was a slight touch to get that thing to jump out.

Prologue #2

Those five people who may have read old stories on here may recall I am not a fan of clowns.

The horror of clowns even made for a creepy episode of Supernatural where they were hunting an evil clown spirit.

Dean Winchester: I know what you're thinking Sam. Why did it have to be clowns?
Sam Winchester: Oh, give me a break.
Dean Winchester: You didn't think I remember, do you? Come on, you still bust out crying when you see Ronald McDonald on the television.
Sam Winchester: At least I'm not afraid of flying.
Dean Winchester: Planes crash!
Sam Winchester: And apparently clowns kill.

Christmas Eve Morning

I walked up to my mom's front porch on Christmas Eve morning. She was expecting me to stop by. As I walked up, I saw Fed Ex had left a package on the doorstep. I brought it in with me as I walked in.

She was busy baking in preparation for Christmas Eve at my brother's house.

"What's that?" she asked.

"It was on the front porch. Fed Ex left it."

"Oh.... Wait! I know what that is. You have to open it."

I looked and noticed it was sent to me.

"Madison sent it to you for Christmas."

After I opened the cardboard box, I removed the paper and saw a painted clown on a metal box. I knew immediately she sent me a jack in the box.

Mom stood there laughing.

"This is wrong," I said as I pulled it out.

It was creepy. It was well detailed and had the little metal arm to turn.

"You have to play it!" mom said. She clearly knew it was coming for me and she was way too excited to see me react to it.

So I set it down and as I wound the arm, it played "Pop Goes the Weasel." There was a creepiness as I turned it when all of a sudden the box whispers, "Come closer."

I stopped turning it.

"What the ****?"

Mom was laughing. "Keep going."

I start it again and the child-like creepy voice again says, "Come Closer." That was followed by, "I have a secret."

I stopped again. "This is wrong."

"Keep going!" she said laughing.

I turned it some more. "Come closer," it whispered again.

At the climax, the freakiest freaking clown in the history of clowns pops out and screams, "DID THE LITTLE CLOWN FRIGHTEN YOU? AWWWWW. GO RUN TO YOUR MOMMY!!!!"

This was followed by a hideous laugh.



Christmas Eve Night

I am hanging at my friend's house and I brought it in for all to see. It was a hit, to the extent that it was the creepiest thing they had EVER seen. They all loved that my goddaughter bought me such an evil gift.

When Adrienne's sister walked in, Wendy prodded me to show Jen. I said, "Are you kidding? I don't want her to scare the clown!"

A Prologue as the Epilogue

My sister walked into the Fed Ex store and wanted to ship the gift to me.

"What is that?" asked the first girl behind the count.

"It's a scary jack in the box for my brother. He's scared of clowns." Just for the record, I am not scared of them, I just do not like them.

The other girl answered. "Wow. It must be really interesting to be in your family."

The first girl spoke again. "Where can I buy one?"

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