What is wrong with America?

I have figured out what is wrong with the world today, or more specifically, the US. It’s not politics, it's not the economy, it's not racism and it's not too much violence.

The problem is that when it's May and its 48 degrees outside with rain falling, you can't buy a coat.

We’ve all heard the boring comedy routine of why women love to shop and men do not, but the plain simple truth is men do not want to go to four different stores in an hour to find a simple article of clothing. It is because we have to, that we hate shopping.

I last had a Spring coat three years ago. In fact, now that I think about it, I don’t think I have ever bought a coat. I always got coats on my birthday (summer) or at Christmas. Several years ago, after getting a coat every year for about five years, I actually asked my mom to stop buying them because I had too many. When I moved 12 days ago, I still had a Winter coat (with a badly torn pocket thanks to a door at Gerlach Hall snagging it) that I left behind in Kentucky while I wrap up my project in Ohio.

I spent my lunch today going to stores trying to find a Spring coat while all the stores insisted on selling summer clothes when it’s 48 degrees out and raining.

Wal-Mart was a complete bust, but I could buy swimming trunks, but this was not surprising. You can’t even find gloves or boots in Wal-Mart in February... in Ohio … with 33 inches of snow on the ground.

The workers at Target thought I was crazy. "It's summer," they insisted.

"It's 45 degrees outside! It's not summer." Summer as I knew it growing up was June, July and August. This new arrangement of May not being in the Spring must've been snuck in with the new math where two plus two equals five for large values of two.

I asked them where I could go to find a coat and they directed me to Old Navy or Dick’s Sporting Goods.

I was so desperate I entered an Old Navy store hoping to find one. I dislike Old Navy because, as a man, I cannot tell if I am in the men’s section or the women’s section. The girl walked over seeing I was completely lost and I blurted out, “I need help,” before she could even offer to help me. She went into the back room and found the only coat they had. It was the ugliest thing I had ever seen.

I could have bought gender neutral flip flops and Bermuda shorts if I wanted too. Why do people keep Old Navy in business? Seriously?

My kingdom for a windbreaker!

Thankfully, a friend directed me to Buckeye Corner where I bought and OSU jacket. As an added bonus, it was 30% off. Apparently they are trying to make room for the summer fashions.

I told the girl my story and she was just as dumbfounded as well. She told me she tried to buy sweatpants at Target last week and was told they are not in season. When do sweatpants go “out of season?”

I got back and told of Scott of my aggravating adventure, henceforth known as CoatQuest 2010. Scott felt my pain, but in a worse way. He and Libby try to buy Winter clothes for kids that may outgrow them before Winter arrives. And once Winter is here, no one is selling Winter clothes.

I expect one day the clothes lead will lap itself a couple times and people will be heard to say in Spring 2016, “Those clothes are so Summer 2017 because the Fall 2018 clothes are on sale now!”