My friend Richard came over to watch the semi-final game on Saturday between Kentucky and Louisville. It was a historic game in the rivalry and a very big deal here in Louisville.
He brought his iPad with him wanting to get on the internet. He asked me, “What’s your encryption key to get on your wireless.”
“I have to look it up. It’s like 27 characters long.”
While I logged onto my admin page to look it up, he tried unsuccessfully to jump on an unsecured network from one of my neighbors.
“Why is it so long?” he asked referring to my encryption key.
“Dude. I’m in IT.”
Seriously? Does he want me to have an easier encryption just make his life easier? He seems to be missing the whole point of it.
He was able to log on after successfully typing in the encryption code on his first try.
The game was thrilling. A good time was had.
I changed the encryption key after he left. My encryption key was no longer secure and I am in IT after all.
Showing posts with label Louisville. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Louisville. Show all posts
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Friday, November 18, 2011
The Big Train Keeps on Rolling
When I heard that Bob Seger was touring recently, I thought back to the only time I had ever seen him which was at Freedom Hall in 1986 (September 16th to be exact – yes, it’s a sickness to remember stuff like this.) I recalled being in high school and how disappointed I was that he had not performed some of the great hits like “Night Moves,” “Rock and Roll Never Forgets” and “Katmandu.” that night. I felt a little cheated.
In September I bought tickets for the 11/4 show in Columbus, Ohio, where I lived for 17 years, only to realize after the fact I was scheduled to be at a conference and I had to give those 8th row seats to a friend there. What was more frustrating was I was also shut out of the Louisville show. My definition of shutout is vastly different now then what it was back then. I could have gotten a nosebleed, but years of seeing shows up close thanks to the greatest network of Tramps has completely spoiled me, so I did not buy one. I would wait for the infamous ticket drop and let the ticket gods do with me as they please.
On the day of the show, at about 11:15, I pulled up a 3rd row seat that was released online!
I was seated on Clarence’s side (a direct nod to my fellow Tramps,) 3 seats in.
The show started off on a bad foot as they built up the momentum of walking out with the crowd cheering only to have a false start with “Roll Me Away” when they had to bring another bass out. The other issue with this opener was when Bob held the microphone out for the fans to sing the refrain. This just does not work well on this song.
“Trying to Live My Life Without You” did not help build the momentum.
“The Fire Down Below” was fairly solid, but it was at this point I was really bothered by the muddy mix. Bob’s voice was also drowned out in the mix. It was lacking strength and it was not loud enough.
Then it sort of came to a halt losing any momentum he gained by sitting down to do “Mainstreet.” But before it could even start, Bob experienced a guitar problem. They had to run out a replacement and Bob joked that it can’t possibly happen a third time [that something needs to be replaced.) I like the song, it just killed the tempo they were trying to build. The vocals were still not strong and I was not into the show at all. People were not engaged and seemed to be chattering quite a bit. Springsteen never has this occur this early. This is why a show should open with 5 to 7 rocking songs.
The show had zero flow at this point.
So the hope would be the “Old Time Rock and Roll” might pick it up. The crowd responded well, but I still had not. What was wrong? The band was not at all tight, vocals were weak, the sound was muddy. I was actually contemplating leaving it was that much of a cluster.
I'm not Mikey. I don't always like everything, but I love live music and almost never say anything negative about an act, but this was that bad. Could it get more detached than what it was?
Yes.
“Little Drummer Boy” brought to an end any momentum that the old war horse had gained. And I just hate the song to begin with. Sigh. It was completely out of place. It also featured a microphone malfunction that delayed the song starting as they brought out a new one.
The show finally took a step in the right direction with “Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man” although I think Springsteen performed it better when I saw him in Detroit in 2008. Still, I decided I would stay for another song.
The show took a swing for the better with the audible “Long Twin Silver Line,” one of my favorites off “Against The Wind.” It definitely was not on the setlist as someone sent me a photo from the back stage (see below.) The band was more in sync although the sound was still a little muddy, but it seemed improved. I got goosebumps if only because I love the song and never expected him to perform it. I decided I would stay for another song.
“Hey Hey Going Back to Birmingham” rocked. I decided I would stay for another song.
“Travelin’ Man” finally was where the show finally hit its stride. It was awesome. "Beautiful Loser” closed the first set. Overal it was unsatisfying for me. I had seen better performances from opening acts before. I was a little disillusioned.
At one point early in life, I was a bigger fan of Bob Seger than Bruce Springsteen as the songs all seemed to tell stories that had happened to me along the way. I really wanted this to be a good show. Could Bob and the band salvage the night?
The second set was vastly different. The band was tight, the sound was better and Bob finally sounded better as they tore through a set of classics. He must’ve ripped their ass at halftime because they came out and were very solid for the rest of the show.
“Nutbush City Limits” set the tone for the rest of the evening. It’s a favorite of mine and they did it justice.
“Come to Poppa” used a guitar riff that sounded similar to a Kinks riff, but if Jimi Hendrix was playing. It was really cool. Kenny Greenberg was on guitar and was, for me, the exceptional musician on the stage. He is apparently a session player in Nashville and added a lot with his lead guitar to every song.
“Her Strut” was really strong.
“Betty Lou’s Getting Out Tonight” is another favorite and was the best song of the night up to this point. I was immediately transported back to a memory in high school when Tim O'Brien heard the song for the first time when I was driving around and it didn't leave his head for days.
“We’ve Got Tonight” followed and then the classic “Turn the Page” was actually haunting as the opening sax sent chills down my neck.
“Sunspot Baby” became a sing-a-long with the crowd as they were very engaged at this point.
“Katmandu” ended a very strong 2nd set. It was very clear to me how much Bob really enjoys performing on stage during the entire second set.
The encores were very strong. “Against the Wind” may be my favorite Seger song and it was majestic. The second verse in particular stuck with me tonight.
“Hollywood Nights” was quite awesome.
“Night Moves” was nice.
“Rock and Roll Never Forgets” closed the night and was a powerful anthem, much more so considering how badly the show started. It was actually one of the best closers I've seen outside of a Springsteen show.
His performance was 2 hours and 20 minutes. The lady next to me took some photos I hope to post here after Sunday.
11/17/2011 – Yum! Center
1. Roll me away
2. Trying to live my life w/o you
3. Fire down below
4. Mainstreet
5. Old Time Rock and Roll
6. Little Drummer Boy
7. Ramblin' Gamblin' Man
8. Long Twin Silver Line
9. Hey Hey Going Back to Birmingham
10. Travelin' Man
11. Beautiful Loser
12. Nutbush City Limits
13. Come to Poppa
14. Her Strut
15. Betty Lou’s Getting Out Tonight
16. We've got tonight
17. Turn the Page
18. Sunspot Baby
19. Katmandu
20. Against the Wind
21. Hollywood Nights
22. Night Moves
23. Rock and Roll Never Forgets
In September I bought tickets for the 11/4 show in Columbus, Ohio, where I lived for 17 years, only to realize after the fact I was scheduled to be at a conference and I had to give those 8th row seats to a friend there. What was more frustrating was I was also shut out of the Louisville show. My definition of shutout is vastly different now then what it was back then. I could have gotten a nosebleed, but years of seeing shows up close thanks to the greatest network of Tramps has completely spoiled me, so I did not buy one. I would wait for the infamous ticket drop and let the ticket gods do with me as they please.
On the day of the show, at about 11:15, I pulled up a 3rd row seat that was released online!
I was seated on Clarence’s side (a direct nod to my fellow Tramps,) 3 seats in.
The show started off on a bad foot as they built up the momentum of walking out with the crowd cheering only to have a false start with “Roll Me Away” when they had to bring another bass out. The other issue with this opener was when Bob held the microphone out for the fans to sing the refrain. This just does not work well on this song.
“Trying to Live My Life Without You” did not help build the momentum.
“The Fire Down Below” was fairly solid, but it was at this point I was really bothered by the muddy mix. Bob’s voice was also drowned out in the mix. It was lacking strength and it was not loud enough.
Then it sort of came to a halt losing any momentum he gained by sitting down to do “Mainstreet.” But before it could even start, Bob experienced a guitar problem. They had to run out a replacement and Bob joked that it can’t possibly happen a third time [that something needs to be replaced.) I like the song, it just killed the tempo they were trying to build. The vocals were still not strong and I was not into the show at all. People were not engaged and seemed to be chattering quite a bit. Springsteen never has this occur this early. This is why a show should open with 5 to 7 rocking songs.
The show had zero flow at this point.
So the hope would be the “Old Time Rock and Roll” might pick it up. The crowd responded well, but I still had not. What was wrong? The band was not at all tight, vocals were weak, the sound was muddy. I was actually contemplating leaving it was that much of a cluster.
I'm not Mikey. I don't always like everything, but I love live music and almost never say anything negative about an act, but this was that bad. Could it get more detached than what it was?
Yes.
“Little Drummer Boy” brought to an end any momentum that the old war horse had gained. And I just hate the song to begin with. Sigh. It was completely out of place. It also featured a microphone malfunction that delayed the song starting as they brought out a new one.
The show finally took a step in the right direction with “Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man” although I think Springsteen performed it better when I saw him in Detroit in 2008. Still, I decided I would stay for another song.
The show took a swing for the better with the audible “Long Twin Silver Line,” one of my favorites off “Against The Wind.” It definitely was not on the setlist as someone sent me a photo from the back stage (see below.) The band was more in sync although the sound was still a little muddy, but it seemed improved. I got goosebumps if only because I love the song and never expected him to perform it. I decided I would stay for another song.
“Hey Hey Going Back to Birmingham” rocked. I decided I would stay for another song.
“Travelin’ Man” finally was where the show finally hit its stride. It was awesome. "Beautiful Loser” closed the first set. Overal it was unsatisfying for me. I had seen better performances from opening acts before. I was a little disillusioned.
At one point early in life, I was a bigger fan of Bob Seger than Bruce Springsteen as the songs all seemed to tell stories that had happened to me along the way. I really wanted this to be a good show. Could Bob and the band salvage the night?
The second set was vastly different. The band was tight, the sound was better and Bob finally sounded better as they tore through a set of classics. He must’ve ripped their ass at halftime because they came out and were very solid for the rest of the show.
“Nutbush City Limits” set the tone for the rest of the evening. It’s a favorite of mine and they did it justice.
“Come to Poppa” used a guitar riff that sounded similar to a Kinks riff, but if Jimi Hendrix was playing. It was really cool. Kenny Greenberg was on guitar and was, for me, the exceptional musician on the stage. He is apparently a session player in Nashville and added a lot with his lead guitar to every song.
“Her Strut” was really strong.
“Betty Lou’s Getting Out Tonight” is another favorite and was the best song of the night up to this point. I was immediately transported back to a memory in high school when Tim O'Brien heard the song for the first time when I was driving around and it didn't leave his head for days.
“We’ve Got Tonight” followed and then the classic “Turn the Page” was actually haunting as the opening sax sent chills down my neck.
“Sunspot Baby” became a sing-a-long with the crowd as they were very engaged at this point.
“Katmandu” ended a very strong 2nd set. It was very clear to me how much Bob really enjoys performing on stage during the entire second set.
The encores were very strong. “Against the Wind” may be my favorite Seger song and it was majestic. The second verse in particular stuck with me tonight.
“Hollywood Nights” was quite awesome.
“Night Moves” was nice.
“Rock and Roll Never Forgets” closed the night and was a powerful anthem, much more so considering how badly the show started. It was actually one of the best closers I've seen outside of a Springsteen show.
His performance was 2 hours and 20 minutes. The lady next to me took some photos I hope to post here after Sunday.
11/17/2011 – Yum! Center
1. Roll me away
2. Trying to live my life w/o you
3. Fire down below
4. Mainstreet
5. Old Time Rock and Roll
6. Little Drummer Boy
7. Ramblin' Gamblin' Man
8. Long Twin Silver Line
9. Hey Hey Going Back to Birmingham
10. Travelin' Man
11. Beautiful Loser
12. Nutbush City Limits
13. Come to Poppa
14. Her Strut
15. Betty Lou’s Getting Out Tonight
16. We've got tonight
17. Turn the Page
18. Sunspot Baby
19. Katmandu
20. Against the Wind
21. Hollywood Nights
22. Night Moves
23. Rock and Roll Never Forgets
Thursday, October 29, 2009
My Sister's Haunted Crack House
It was in 1998 when my sister Stacy and her first husband, Richard, moved into their first house at 1431 Thornberry Avenue in 1998.
This house is in an older neighborhood, off of Taylor Boulevard within a half mile of Churchill Downs. My mom described the house as the nicest crack house on the block.
She and her family moved to Arkansas in 2001 and my dad moved into the house when he separated from his second wife for a while and then my brother lived there before she sold it off and the family moved to Florida.
My dad came over to my mom's house one night and my sister was there when we were sitting in the kitchen and my dad told a story how he got up the other night, swearing there was someone in the house as he heard footsteps.
"Doesn't surprise me," she said casually. "The house is haunted." She said it in such a casual manner, it took us both a couple seconds to digest what she said.
The screen door slams
I just sat there listening as my dad had what I would describe as a sense of relief, if that's possible, because he thought he was going crazy.
The back door of the house had a very heavy screen door that was impossible to open and even more impossible to close. When you let it close naturally, it had three distinct points that it would stop, swing back out a little and then continue to close. It was impossible to make this door slam.
My dad said earlier in the week he heard that screen door suddenly slam shut in the dark hours of the morning and he woke up immediately, sitting up in bed. He walked out if the master bedroom, through the adjoining room that was Calvin's bedroom just across a hallway that was only 3 feet long.
The adjoining bedroom had two doors on opposite sides and the far door led into a room that looked like an extension that was added after the house was initially build. This was the family room. Around the corner was a small hall that led to the kitchen and the back door was here, opposite a full bathroom. The kitchen ran back the length of the house to the front of the house to a living room where the hall that connected the two bedrooms and the central bathroom sat. There was also a stairwell to the basement area where they put a bedroom for Jessica, Richard's daughter from his first marriage, and a play room for the kids.
My dad walked through the entire circle of the house and walked into the basement thinking someone had broken in. He stopped first at the back door, unlocked it and tried to push open the screen door and it was as stiff as ever taking a lot of effort to open it and it would not shut. Even pulling it shut, the door was resisting as he pulled it. He also noted there was no wind that night.
He went back to bed, but he said he just felt like there was someone in the house.
Stacy nodded.
That had happened to her as well.
Then dad talked about the footsteps one night and grabbed a bat and walked the full circle of the house looking for an intruder and there was no one else in the house. He kept the bat next to the bed after that.
And we danced like spirits in the night
Stacy had started letting the dog go to bed with her if she was going to bed before Richard got home. Often the dog would suddenly sit up and go walking out of the bedroom and then come in by himself and climb back into bed with her. When Richard would come home and the dog would go out to greet him. The best we could figure is perhaps Sierra thought Richard was home hearing someone out there and she'd get up and go out.
Stacy thinks it was someone else, perhaps someone who had died in the house. In fact she said she thought it was the ghost of an old man in the house with them.
I did not experience anything directly as my sister or dad did, but there were two things in retrospect that I mentioned that night and my sister nodded.
When they did not have Jessica and I was visiting in town, I stayed in Jessica's bedroom in the basement. It was near Christmas, perhaps as late as February, and I went to bed well after midnight. I heard footsteps and being in that dark bedroom without any light, I had no idea what time it was. I honestly thought it was Richard returning from work because he forgot something.
I found it puzzling when I mentioned him coming back in the house the next day and he said he had not returned. I can dismiss it as perhaps the dog, but the dog had a fast gait being a whippet; much faster than the slow creaking of the floorboards overhead the basement bedroom. Calvin was still a baby and Stacy said she didn't get up.
I don't think at that time she suspected the house was haunted.
But that night in mom's kitchen I told her something that I saw, it was nothing significant at the time, but it was like having a piece of the puzzle without knowing what it was a picture of.
The door between the family room and Calvin's bedroom would latch shut when it was closed. We would be sitting there watching TV or playing with the kids and it would unlatch by itself and swing open into the family room and hit the wall. What happened in mom's kitchen though was the realization that I also had witnessed on several occasions the door close by itself from the wall to the door frame.
And Stacy and my dad are sitting there and Stacy says, "Yeah! I've seen that, too!" Dad nodded as well. He had seen that, but he had not thought about it.
It was nothing we really thought about, usually a door will swing just one way in an old house because perhaps it has settled over the years, but to swing both ways from a complete stop (or being latched) is bizarre.
Spirits above and behind me
A few months later, I was home and my brother was living in the house with a roommate. It was Derby weekend and I remember Brandon and his roommate were hanging out.
I mentioned something about it being the first time I visited the house since dad, Stacy and I had that conversation about the house being haunted and Brandon nearly had a fit.
Brandon had several experiences he started telling us about and he had been freaked out living there as the medication he was taking had an effect as well and he thought he was going out of his mind.
When Brandon's roommate came out, I don't recall his name, we told him about the stories of the house and we saw a grown 26 year old man reduced to tears. He and Brandon apparently had never discussed some of the odd things they had seen or experienced in the house with each other.
Brandon's friend was not on medication affecting him. One day while reading on the couch in the living room, he felt like he was being watched and as he looked up, he saw an old man standing in the hallway where the two bedroom doors and the bathroom door meet in the three foot hallway, then the man just disappeared. It scared the $%#* out of him.
He was shaking while telling us the story and crying because he thought he was going insane with a couple of the things he had seen, including the apparition. He thought there was something wrong with him.
My sister had indicated before this that she always "felt" it was an old man's ghost in the house and it was funny that Brandon's roommate said he saw an old man in the hallway that just disappeared in front of him. Stacy never felt unsafe or threatened, just occasionally uncomfortable and creeped out by a presence she thought was there in the house.
I've always wanted to go back to the house, but she sold it and I've wondered if the current residents ever experienced anything there.
Monday, October 26, 2009
He's Guilty, (Send That Boy to Jail)
(From events that occurred on 3/11/1988)
I grew up in Fern Creek, a small town outside - but pretty much considered part of - Louisville. Life in Fern Creek was pretty boring. I worked at the Putt-Putt Golf and Games on Bardstown Road and it was there I met my friend Frank. Frank was 2 years younger than myself (I was 18) and I had more or less hooked him on John Mellencamp's music the previous summer. For some reason I can't recall now, Frank did not go to the Louisville show that previous December. Needless to say that show was a mindblowing experience for me and he swore he'd go to the next show that came around. I seem to recall the tickets went on sale during a snow emergency in Louisville, so friends of mine in Dayton, OH, secured our seats for us.
Mister state trooper, please don't stop me
We met at the Putt-Putt and left for the show in my dad's Honda hatchback. I normally drove a VW bug, but its history was that it was an undependable car and I didn't want to be stranded in the middle of nowhere. We were on the Gene Snyder Freeway for about 3 miles when I was pulled over for "excessive" speeding. The police officer was a jerk about the whole thing. He said he got me doing 79 mph in a 55 mph zone. I told him I was just keeping up with traffic. He said it took me 3 miles to catch up with traffic. Maybe he was right, who knows now? Frank's laughing as the cop walks away (at me, not with me).
This was a very traumatic thing for me. I never had a speeding ticket before (in a VW Bug? Yeah right.) so I was a little shell shocked as we drove the rest of the way to Rupp at 53 mph. The whole way I was trying to think how I was going to tell my dad what happened. I also wondered how it was going to affect my insurance. At least we left early enough that the ticket did not make us late.
We met up with Chris Wettle and Richard Higgins from Dayton (I went to high school in Louisville with them) and saw a freaking incredible show. During the break Richard and some other guy from Dayton moved up to the seats that John's brother vacated as he left for back stage. Unbelievable seats. I was definitely jealous.
We leave after the show and I'm heading down Main Street that meets up with I-64 in Versailles. It's all 55 mph with only 2 lights. Now of course I'm not going to be speeding because I had a ticket just 4 hours earlier.
Trooper hits his party light switch
I'm cruising along at 53 mph when the trooper hits his lights.
"Cop!" shouts Frank.
"But I'm not speeding," I respond as I look at the gauge. "He must be after someone else."
Yeah right. Buford T. Justice pulls us over and I get a sickening feeling in my stomach as he peers in my window with a look on his face that says "You're my puppy now." I saw the movie "Deliverance" - you get the idea.
"Registration and license, please." He holds his hand over his gun; I guess in case I pull a gun out.
"Is there a problem officer?"
"Registration and license, please."
I open the glove box and hand it to him. It was on top of all the of the stuff in there because of my previous ticket.
"I caught you speeding."
"That's not possible officer. There's no way I was speeding."
"Are you boys from around here?"
"No sir, we're from Louisville."
"Do you go to the University?" I assume he meant the University of Kentucky.
"No, I go to Bellarmine College in Louisville. We're from Louisville." Maybe I said that last sentence in the wrong tone - as in "Weren't you listening 2 seconds ago?"
"Step out of the car, boy." The jerk calls me "boy", but with that southern twang that makes it a two syllable word - Bo-ay. Frank is giggling hysterically at this point. Every time he tries
to stop, he starts up even harder.
The cop is looking me right in the eye.
"You been drinkin', bo-ay?"
"No sir. Do you want to smell my breath?"
At Buford's request, I breath into his face. Since I didn't have anything to drink, he got a whiff of nothing.
He holds his finger up. "Follow my finger with your eyes." So I oblige. Then I made mistake number one (or two counting the "We're from Louisville tone"). I spoke when not spoken to. Never ever offer information unless asked for it.
"Officer, in case you didn't notice, I have a slight lazy right eye, so if it didn't follow your finger, that's why."
"You been doin' any drugs, bo-ay?"
I hear Frank giggling louder through the open driver's window.
"No sir."
"Are you willin' to take a blood test?"
Now at this point, I'm not thinking too clearly. I've already received one ticket, saw an incredible show, and am fearful of a second ticket. I thought he was talking about administering the test himself and I knew the blood would need to be drawn by a needle. I'm not scared of needles, as long as a trained physician is doing the handiwork.
I simply answered him, "Is it going to hurt?"
Frank has lost it. I admit I failed to see anything funny about the situation at the time. Looking back on it, Frank thinks it was my deadpan responses to his questions that made him lose it.
"Get in my front seat, bo-ay."
I'm in it deep now, is all I could think.
I get in the front seat.
"I clocked you doing 71 mph in a 55 mph zone," Buford tells me as he's filling out the rest of the ticket.
"That's impossible." For Chrissakes I had a ticket four hours early, so I know I wasn't speeding! I didn't say this to him though. I do put my foot in my mouth.
"How do I know this was really me you clocked and not the previous person you pulled over?"
After I said it, I realized it was a mistake. He gave me a sharp look and I thought for a minute he was going to hit me upside the head. The sad thing was I was serious and not really thinking straight. I’m glad he didn’t knock my teeth out or beat me senseless.
"I ran a diagnostic on it before I clocked you so I know it's correct," he growls (I swear he growled this!)
"How much will it cost me?" I ask.
He pulls some sheet out and shows me the fee chart. It was something like $72.50 US that I could just mail in to the Scott County Treasurer.
"I don't think you've been drinkin'," he says to me, "but I think you've been doin' drugs."
OH SHIT! Flashes through my mind.
"But you're OK to drive," he finishes.
I'm speechless. No one to this day can explain this logic to me.
"But your buddy ... he's really messed up."
It wasn't until a few days later that what Buford was referring to was Frank's uncontrollable giggles at my predicament. He thought Frank was flying high on something.
I looked Buford straight in the eye and said, "He's not messed up. His nose just looks that was from a car accident." Frank was in a bad wreck the previous summer when someone hit his mom.
In retrospect, I can see why Buford maybe thought I was on drugs.
On the way home, the alternator went out and we made home on battery power as the headlights slowly dimmed to almost non-existence as I finally pulled into the driveway.
The Judge was Mean John Brown
The next day I call Chris's mom, a paralegal who works for the prosecuting attorney in Louisville. Chris's mom is the funniest person I know. Years ago I called her Mrs. Wettle and she commented that she did not marry her father. I replied, "This being Kentucky, you must've been able to outrun him." So from that day on in high school I always addressed her as Chris's Mom.
"Hi Chris's mom, this Bryon."
"Hello Chris's friend."
I told her the story about the first ticket.
"When is the court date?"
I tell her.
"Is that a Tuesday?"
"Yes."
"OK, I know who will be prosecuting you and he wants me for my body, so I'll talk to him," she says with a laugh.
"I like you a lot Chris's mom, but I don't want you to go that far to get me out of my ticket."
"Bryon Jordan! That's NOT what I meant!"
"I know. Um, I also had this other problem coming home."
I told her about the second ticket, still adamant about not speeding. I told her I thought the cop was a jerk, etc. She told me to go fight the ticket and try and plead defective equipment. Tell them I took it in, had the speedometer checked, the mechanic fixed it, and show some receipt for service.
She thought perhaps Buford was hoping to cage a DUI and that was the reason for the harassment because she could not explain how I could've been doing drugs, but was OK to drive. I’m going to have to ask a physician sometime if this is possible, but I think I know the answer.
The first ticket was knocked down to 14 mph over the limit for which I received traffic school (15 mph was the max allowed for attending traffic school). It was $15 + court fees. It came out to $63 + no record of the ticket for the blood sucking insurance company.
For the second ticket I went to the Georgetown Hall of Justice (and skipping my Economics 102 class) and saw the rest of the cast of "Deliverance." The ticket was dismissed when the judge realized that Buford never wrote down how fast I was going on the ticket.
I grew up in Fern Creek, a small town outside - but pretty much considered part of - Louisville. Life in Fern Creek was pretty boring. I worked at the Putt-Putt Golf and Games on Bardstown Road and it was there I met my friend Frank. Frank was 2 years younger than myself (I was 18) and I had more or less hooked him on John Mellencamp's music the previous summer. For some reason I can't recall now, Frank did not go to the Louisville show that previous December. Needless to say that show was a mindblowing experience for me and he swore he'd go to the next show that came around. I seem to recall the tickets went on sale during a snow emergency in Louisville, so friends of mine in Dayton, OH, secured our seats for us.
Mister state trooper, please don't stop me
We met at the Putt-Putt and left for the show in my dad's Honda hatchback. I normally drove a VW bug, but its history was that it was an undependable car and I didn't want to be stranded in the middle of nowhere. We were on the Gene Snyder Freeway for about 3 miles when I was pulled over for "excessive" speeding. The police officer was a jerk about the whole thing. He said he got me doing 79 mph in a 55 mph zone. I told him I was just keeping up with traffic. He said it took me 3 miles to catch up with traffic. Maybe he was right, who knows now? Frank's laughing as the cop walks away (at me, not with me).
This was a very traumatic thing for me. I never had a speeding ticket before (in a VW Bug? Yeah right.) so I was a little shell shocked as we drove the rest of the way to Rupp at 53 mph. The whole way I was trying to think how I was going to tell my dad what happened. I also wondered how it was going to affect my insurance. At least we left early enough that the ticket did not make us late.
We met up with Chris Wettle and Richard Higgins from Dayton (I went to high school in Louisville with them) and saw a freaking incredible show. During the break Richard and some other guy from Dayton moved up to the seats that John's brother vacated as he left for back stage. Unbelievable seats. I was definitely jealous.
We leave after the show and I'm heading down Main Street that meets up with I-64 in Versailles. It's all 55 mph with only 2 lights. Now of course I'm not going to be speeding because I had a ticket just 4 hours earlier.
Trooper hits his party light switch
I'm cruising along at 53 mph when the trooper hits his lights.
"Cop!" shouts Frank.
"But I'm not speeding," I respond as I look at the gauge. "He must be after someone else."
Yeah right. Buford T. Justice pulls us over and I get a sickening feeling in my stomach as he peers in my window with a look on his face that says "You're my puppy now." I saw the movie "Deliverance" - you get the idea.
"Registration and license, please." He holds his hand over his gun; I guess in case I pull a gun out.
"Is there a problem officer?"
"Registration and license, please."
I open the glove box and hand it to him. It was on top of all the of the stuff in there because of my previous ticket.
"I caught you speeding."
"That's not possible officer. There's no way I was speeding."
"Are you boys from around here?"
"No sir, we're from Louisville."
"Do you go to the University?" I assume he meant the University of Kentucky.
"No, I go to Bellarmine College in Louisville. We're from Louisville." Maybe I said that last sentence in the wrong tone - as in "Weren't you listening 2 seconds ago?"
"Step out of the car, boy." The jerk calls me "boy", but with that southern twang that makes it a two syllable word - Bo-ay. Frank is giggling hysterically at this point. Every time he tries
to stop, he starts up even harder.
The cop is looking me right in the eye.
"You been drinkin', bo-ay?"
"No sir. Do you want to smell my breath?"
At Buford's request, I breath into his face. Since I didn't have anything to drink, he got a whiff of nothing.
He holds his finger up. "Follow my finger with your eyes." So I oblige. Then I made mistake number one (or two counting the "We're from Louisville tone"). I spoke when not spoken to. Never ever offer information unless asked for it.
"Officer, in case you didn't notice, I have a slight lazy right eye, so if it didn't follow your finger, that's why."
"You been doin' any drugs, bo-ay?"
I hear Frank giggling louder through the open driver's window.
"No sir."
"Are you willin' to take a blood test?"
Now at this point, I'm not thinking too clearly. I've already received one ticket, saw an incredible show, and am fearful of a second ticket. I thought he was talking about administering the test himself and I knew the blood would need to be drawn by a needle. I'm not scared of needles, as long as a trained physician is doing the handiwork.
I simply answered him, "Is it going to hurt?"
Frank has lost it. I admit I failed to see anything funny about the situation at the time. Looking back on it, Frank thinks it was my deadpan responses to his questions that made him lose it.
"Get in my front seat, bo-ay."
I'm in it deep now, is all I could think.
I get in the front seat.
"I clocked you doing 71 mph in a 55 mph zone," Buford tells me as he's filling out the rest of the ticket.
"That's impossible." For Chrissakes I had a ticket four hours early, so I know I wasn't speeding! I didn't say this to him though. I do put my foot in my mouth.
"How do I know this was really me you clocked and not the previous person you pulled over?"
After I said it, I realized it was a mistake. He gave me a sharp look and I thought for a minute he was going to hit me upside the head. The sad thing was I was serious and not really thinking straight. I’m glad he didn’t knock my teeth out or beat me senseless.
"I ran a diagnostic on it before I clocked you so I know it's correct," he growls (I swear he growled this!)
"How much will it cost me?" I ask.
He pulls some sheet out and shows me the fee chart. It was something like $72.50 US that I could just mail in to the Scott County Treasurer.
"I don't think you've been drinkin'," he says to me, "but I think you've been doin' drugs."
OH SHIT! Flashes through my mind.
"But you're OK to drive," he finishes.
I'm speechless. No one to this day can explain this logic to me.
"But your buddy ... he's really messed up."
It wasn't until a few days later that what Buford was referring to was Frank's uncontrollable giggles at my predicament. He thought Frank was flying high on something.
I looked Buford straight in the eye and said, "He's not messed up. His nose just looks that was from a car accident." Frank was in a bad wreck the previous summer when someone hit his mom.
In retrospect, I can see why Buford maybe thought I was on drugs.
On the way home, the alternator went out and we made home on battery power as the headlights slowly dimmed to almost non-existence as I finally pulled into the driveway.
The Judge was Mean John Brown
The next day I call Chris's mom, a paralegal who works for the prosecuting attorney in Louisville. Chris's mom is the funniest person I know. Years ago I called her Mrs. Wettle and she commented that she did not marry her father. I replied, "This being Kentucky, you must've been able to outrun him." So from that day on in high school I always addressed her as Chris's Mom.
"Hi Chris's mom, this Bryon."
"Hello Chris's friend."
I told her the story about the first ticket.
"When is the court date?"
I tell her.
"Is that a Tuesday?"
"Yes."
"OK, I know who will be prosecuting you and he wants me for my body, so I'll talk to him," she says with a laugh.
"I like you a lot Chris's mom, but I don't want you to go that far to get me out of my ticket."
"Bryon Jordan! That's NOT what I meant!"
"I know. Um, I also had this other problem coming home."
I told her about the second ticket, still adamant about not speeding. I told her I thought the cop was a jerk, etc. She told me to go fight the ticket and try and plead defective equipment. Tell them I took it in, had the speedometer checked, the mechanic fixed it, and show some receipt for service.
She thought perhaps Buford was hoping to cage a DUI and that was the reason for the harassment because she could not explain how I could've been doing drugs, but was OK to drive. I’m going to have to ask a physician sometime if this is possible, but I think I know the answer.
The first ticket was knocked down to 14 mph over the limit for which I received traffic school (15 mph was the max allowed for attending traffic school). It was $15 + court fees. It came out to $63 + no record of the ticket for the blood sucking insurance company.
For the second ticket I went to the Georgetown Hall of Justice (and skipping my Economics 102 class) and saw the rest of the cast of "Deliverance." The ticket was dismissed when the judge realized that Buford never wrote down how fast I was going on the ticket.
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