Thursday, November 18, 2010

Mother of the Year?

I was in town visiting in August 1999 and staying at my sister's haunted crack house.

It was a typical conversation as we sat on the couch when we suddenly heard a loud thump on the floor in her bedroom. We looked at each other wide eyed and then a moment later Maddie was screaming bloody murder.

Stacy jumped up off the couch and ran in there and brought out the screaming 10 month old who had fallen off the bed when she rolled over.

"Shhhh!" she urged her as she tried to calm her.

She then looked up at me and said, "I can't believe she did that again."

"AGAIN!!!" I shouted in disbelief.

And I got in trouble for leaving Calvin in a theater by himself for 90 second to run to the bathroom?

Madison does not seem to have suffered to much from the injury all these years later. Kids must be made of rubber.


Thursday, November 11, 2010

A Geeky Guide to a Practical Joke

Some history

"Star Trek" and the all the spin offs can be a very polarizing subject. People either seem to love it or hate it. I admit the cheesy special effect and overacting by William Shatner from the first series can be a turn off.

I began watching "Star Trek: The Next Generation" in college during it's third season. During season three through season five, it was probably some of the best written television despite being in the science fiction genre. It was not long before a group of us would plan the evening around it and watch it.

The next year, Rob, Chris, Jeff and Matt moved into a house that sat behind the Frisch's located at the corner of Brown and Stewart on the edge of the University of Dayton. I would walk down there and watch it with the guys every week. (Sadly, the house has long since been demolished.)

During the fourth season, the franchise announced there was going to be a new series called "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine."


The Episode

There is an episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" called "Cause and Effect." The Enterprise enters a time loop where they keep repeating events over and over similar to "Groundhog Day" which I believe actually came out two years later. The episode actually opens with the 45 second teaser showing the destruction of the Enterprise. It was thoroughly confusing to the viewer until it came back from commercial and you see the ship floating along only to be destroyed 12 minutes later in the same manner. Then it came back from commercial and repeated itself.



The Joke

One of the guys, Cort, had a class, so the guys were always taping it so he could come home and watch it after us. Either Chris or Matt told him the tape was sitting in the VCR, but then the following conversation took place.

Matt: "Did you know this was the last episode of the series?"

Cort: "Really?"

Matt: "Yeah. They have the new series, Deep Space Nine, coming out next year, so they are canceling it and tonight is the last episode of the series."

Cort: "Wow, I'm glad you taped it."

He turned on the TV and saw the opening.

Cort: "What the..."

Matt: "Oh my God! I forgot to rewind it!"

Cort went berserk thinking he saw the end of the episode and the guys could not stop laughing because he got more and more pissed the more everyone laughed!

And as much of a highlight that was, they also got to retell the story over and over to everyone who watched it elsewhere that night.

It was a great joke actually to play on a Star Trek fan.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

White House begins selling naming rights to National Monuments

In a move to try and refill the money taken from Social Security over the last several decades and prevent the inevitable bankruptcy of the retirement plan, the Unites States of America has announced they are selling the naming rights of our monuments.

YUM! foods spokesperson Dean Warner stood side by side with the President of the Unites States as the two closed a deal to rename "The Liberty Bell" to "The Taco Bell Liberty Bell."

"This is a huge opportunity for us to spread our brand name to people in America who may not have heard of Taco Bell."

"This is a wonderful opportunity for businesses to advertise as we follow the same business plan of many arenas and stadiums that sold their naming rights to raise revenue," said the President.

He added with a wink of an eye, "The next ceremony is going to be announced this evening, so I don't want to steal the thunder, but I think all Americans will be excited to see who bought the naming rights to the Jefferson McMorial."

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs answered questions after the ceremony, in particular, some of the corporations the White House is courting.

"We would love to be able to sell the naming rights to Mammoth Cave to Vagisil. It seems like a perfect fit to us. And the Grand Canyon, the biggest crack in the earth, we are hoping to talk Preparation H regarding naming rights."