ext12@copper.net
ext12@yahoo.com
ext12@netcom.com
ext12@aol.com
ext12@insightbb.com
ext12@columbus.rr.com
These are just some of the addresses. I had one at Earthlink, SBC Global and a Hotmail as well with the same ID.
An astute person might realize a pattern in the email addresses and I have been asked more than a few times why I stuck with "ext12" as a email address ID.
Back in 1989 I was living on Irving Street in a small apartment next to the Domino's pizza. I was a junior in college and this was the one semester where Chris was my roommate. I had known Chris from high school and I transferred up to the University of Dayton my sophomore year after visiting him and Richard Higgins on Halloween and St. Patrick's Day at UD.
My schedule, as a I recall, had classes on Monday through Thursday which allowed me to drink from Thursday through Saturday without missing a class the next morning. I am pretty sure I was out the night before this particular day because I was taking a nap on the couch at 3:30 p.m. when the phone rang. I got up and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is Chris there?" It was a girl's voice and I did not quite recognize it. I was sure of one thing, it was not his mom.
"Ummmm, no. He's at Ted's house." I was the only one in the apartment. Our other roommate, Joe, was either downstairs with Mary or out studying 12 hours for a test. He was not one to drink, much less have a mediocre time.
"Do you have the number?" she asked.
"Yeah," I mumbled. "It's 228-7130 - " After 21 years, I still can remember the number to Mike, Ted and Matt's house on Ashley. Then without thinking and without pause, I added, "extension 12."
I could hear the puzzlement in her voice. "Extension 12?"
"Yeah. There's multiple lines there and when one of them answers, they'll transfer you to Ted's line."
"Thanks." And then she hung up.
I went and laid down again.
About an hour later the phone rang again, and I dragged my tired self up to answer it again. This was in the days prior to portable phones, so I had to keep getting up to answer these annoying calls.
"Hey Bryon. It's Chris."
"Hey Chris."
"You want to go to a party tonight with me and Ted? I got a call from Chris Vogt and she has a friend in town from Mansfield and she wanted to take her friend to a UD party."
Upon hearing Chris Vogt's name, there was a light bulb in my head that flickered. I knew her from working in the Kettering Dining Hall on campus. She and Chris had become acquainted there and I had an impression she had an interest in my roommate. The light bulb in my head put together that she was the mystery woman who called earlier.
"Sure, sounds like fun. Richard's house is having a party."
"By the way," Chris told me, "that was the funniest joke you ever did."
"Huh?"
"Chris called here and was asking for extension 12!"
"Seriously? I've done that a hundred times to folks and no one ever fell for it."
Chris was laughing now. "I answered the phone and she said 'Can I have extension 12 please?' I answered, 'What?' And she repeated, 'Can I have extension 12?' And I said, 'Chris is this you?' Then there was a pause and she says, 'Chris, I HATE YOUR [BLEEPING] ROOMMATE.' "
This was puzzling. I was well known to piss people off back in the day (as recently as two weeks ago actually,) but I never expected this kind of reaction for such a harmless joke.
I don't recall where we met up with the girls. I think it may have been outside Founder's Hall by the tennis courts. Chris Vogt's friend was a very pretty girl named Michelle. Instantly both Ted and I were very interested in getting to know her better.
On the way to the party, I learned more about the story that made it funnier than I could have ever imagined.
Chris Vogt and Michelle were in a Kettering dorm room with about 10 other girls eating pizza when she called me and then called Ted's house. The other girls in the room heard her entire conversation including her confusion of asking for extension 12 when se called Ted's number.
The reason she hated "Chris's [BLEEPING] roommate" was because they all heard her side of the conversation, figured out what was going on - that she was the victim of a silly prank - and started teasing her while she was on the phone calling her "Extension 12."
I did not tease that much as we walked to the party. She made it clear she was not in the mood for my shit.
It became her nickname for the next couple of years. All the girls were taunting her when she got off the phone. I imagined it like the shower scene from "Carrie" with all the girls yelling "Plug it up! Plug it up!" except they were teasing "Extension 12! Extension 12!"
The next few hours were spent in the basement of a Ghetto house with Richard and his friends. Ted and I were giving Michelle a lot of attention as we both had an interest in her. Chris, Ted and I were experienced drinkers and within a couple hours we drank about 10 beers. Every time we finished, two of us would go get another round because the girls were actually keeping up with us right up until Michelle threw up all over the basement floor.
Flashback to another party
We were at Doug's Kettering dorm for a party earlier that year. I was late getting there because I had to do a load of laundry so I'd have something clean to wear when I turned the corner and saw Chris standing there giving Mike a condom in the hallway.
Chris was urging Mike, "Take it Mike, it's my last one."
Mike was hammered. "Chrissssss, your sssuch a pal. I got one question. I can't ssseee very well. I wanna know ... Is she cute? I can't see so well."
Chris is laughing. "Go for it!"
Mike took the girl home. Later that night, Ted pulled the fire alarm in a drunken stupor and we learned the rest of the story the next day.
(Pictured: Ted, Doug and Mike)
When Chris and Ted stumbled home that night, they walked up the steps to the porch and the inside door was open. As they started to walk in they heard both bathrooms flushing off the kitchen. They stopped. Mike did not close the deal yet. They retreated down the steps as Mike and the girl came walking towards the door.
The walked to the the other side of a giant bush next to the steps and Mike and the girl sat down there. Ted and Chris were about six feet away on the other side of the bush when the girl turned and vomited off the porch.
Ted started whispering, "Kiss her Mike... Kiss her...."
Chris thought he was going to die laughing. He crumpled down trying not make noise as Ted continued.... "Kiss her."
Back to the Present
So we walked Chris Vogt and Michelle back to the Marycrest dorms and the three of us walked home without saying anything the first few minutes. We were walking across Kennedy Union plaza and I idly thought to myself, "Once she threw up, there was no way I was going to kiss her," which made me think about Mike's infamous night.
We walked past Anderson and were in the parking lot headed to the corner of Brown and Stewart when Ted, verbatim said, "Once she threw up, there was no way I was going to kiss her."
I busted out laughing telling them I thought the same thing which of course led us to recollecting Mike's adventure earlier that semester.
I think we went to Walnut Hills and had a couple more beers before calling it a night.
Years later, while living in Columbus, I got my first internet account and I had to decide on a user ID. I went with 'ext12' in memory of the only time my extension 12 joke ever worked.
If I am ever killed by a sniper's bullet or an assassin's knife, someone needs to direct the police towards Chris Vogt.
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