After I completed a certification test on 5/15, I walked next door to my cousin's office building to tell him I passed. I love getting the results back immediately in this day and age.
As I walked in, a large lady standing at the doorway asks me, "You retard?"
That's a weird question, not to mention it's not very nice, so I stopped and thought out what she said. My first thought went to Magenta who keeps hitting me every time I use that word. It's not my fault though. My coworker Kristy uses it at least once a week and I've picked up on it.
After some more thought, I concluded she asked, "You retired?" That made more sense as I was rather disheveled and had not shaved for several days. I was actually looking quite ragged and it made sense that I looked like I wasn't working. I always get that way before a big test; during both my undergraduate days and my recent masters program.
I responded, "Huh?" Not sure why that was my reaction as this entire course of thought occurred in about three seconds. I was thinking in my head, "No, I work for a living. I'm not retired."
She then spoke slowly and clearly without the Kentucky accent that seems so foreign to my ears after 22 years in exile.
"You with TARC?" TARC stand for Transit Authority of River City. She thought I looked like a city bus driver. I must've looked even worse than I thought!
She then started complaining to me because she was " ... tired of waiting for the #$%^ing bus." For an older, heavy lady, she swore like a sailor.
"No, I don't work for TARC." I walked away.
Fifteen minutes later, I am back in the lobby with my dad's cousin and she was still waiting for the bus. I loudly said goodbye to him and told him to be careful driving the bus and I walked out before he had a chance to ask me what I was talking about.
Maybe you had to be there?
